So I was interested to come across an article in today's expat section of the Daily Telegraph which focuses on yet another cultural difference between pregnancy and baby rearing in the UK and Spain, but yet is little commented on and discussed. It's a great article and very thought provoking ... so here it is! Read, enjoy and feel free to comment ...
Being pregnant is a fag in Spain
Is it our writer being hysterical? Or are the locals selfish?
By Michaela Rossi
When my husband and I first arrived in Madrid, we enjoyed every aspect of the Spanish capital's hectic nocturnal lifestyle. Everything was so exciting and new, life seemed so simple and great.
Eating out soon turned into a habit; we enjoyed the tapas bars, our local and the more central cervecerias. We drank coffees in bars during afternoon strolls in the parks. Whenever there was a language hiccup or a misunderstanding, we would simply shrug our shoulders and put it down to cultural differences.
Until I became pregnant.
As my stomach grew, so did my anger and frustration.
Smokers were making my life a misery. Whereas before I would go out and barely pay any attention to the clouds of smoke polluting Madrid's bars and restaurants, suddenly it became a real problem.
Then I realised there were a few restaurants with completely separate areas for smokers and non-smokers. But the sense of relief that there was an easy solution, and that I could still enjoy a meal out, did not last long.
After a phone call to one restaurant to see if the non-smoking part was completely separate from the smokers' area, we headed out. Not long after we sat down and much to my surprise a table of five not too far from us all lit up cigarettes.
I drew this to the attention of the waiter, while pointing at my pregnant belly to explain why this was such an important matter. I expected an apology, but the waiter simply replied: "They are over the other side, pero no pasa nada."
This is one of the most common phrases that you come across in Spain and, for me, it has also become the most irritating one. It literally means "but nothing will happen", although it is used in the same way that "it's not a problem" is in English.
When it's about smoking, to me it's more as if to say: "So what?"
In my pregnant state I could not bring myself to follow the expat option of "if you can't beat them, join them".
I soon realised that fighting the system was not a good option either. I tried arguing my point many times: with a bus driver who lit up a cigarette while driving; I fought shop assistants secretly smoking in the lavatories; even a police officer going for a puff in the staff lavatory while I was obtaining my Spanish residencia at the police station.
I stormed off to see our portero (desk porter) when I got into the lift in our building one day and it reeked of smoke. But when I reached his desk he had a cigarette hanging out of the side of his mouth. I didn't even give him a chance to say no pasa nada and just walked off.
I even argued with a taxi driver who lit up without asking.
After my confrontations, they all came back with the same answer, saying "no pasa nada" as they stubbed out. However, the most astonishing behaviour of all had to be that of the other pregnant mothers.
I would see them openly going out for a cigarette during our antenatal classes. Since having my son, I have heard mothers forbidding their children from befriending or trying to pat my dog as we strolled in the park in case he injured them. Yet, pushing a pram with a lit cigarette inches away from their children seems to hold no fear for them.
The Vicky Pollard character figure in the BBC's Little Britain is one of the best to describe how smoking when pregnant, or as a mother, is viewed in the UK.
In Spain, although the health education campaign is very similar to that in Britain, the public seems to be more relaxed about it.
Feeling powerless, as if the whole world was against me, I used to complain to my husband, who would tell me that I was lucky not to get pregnant before 2006. Up until then, smoking was allowed everywhere.
"No smoking" signs do not mean much to the general population in Spain - and nor do many other signs. Rules are made to be broken, it seems.
However, there may be some light at the end of the tunnel: a law banning smoking is currently being discussed. If it becomes legislation, smoking will be prohibited in public places in Spain from next month.
Who knows? After 10 months of not being able to go out as a family, we might finally take our son out with us for a meal.
However, until the ban is in place in all public buildings in Spain, I remain the totally unrelaxed foreign mother.
